i could be a member of maroon 5 and none of you would ever know
whenever you’re in a situation where you need motivation just whisper “give ‘em the old razzle dazzle” to yourself and proceed to give ‘em the old razzle dazzle.
when you try to do something original and someone copies you
excuse me waiter where are my crayons
there are probably more lost bobby pins than there are people in this world
My parents didnt let me watch winnie the pooh as a kid because he didnt wear pants
I’m very strong, I could fight off maybe 20 snails, 21 on a good day
"you can listen to your music while you work"
- me: this is worse than that time I watched family guy
- *camera cuts to me watching family guy*
- me: this sucks
MONKEYS in the ARCTIC?! whats next, vampires on the weekend?!